Empty Drawer

It’s not quite an empty nest… It’s an empty drawer.

There are three drawers in the bottom of the sound system cabinet. When the drawers came into existence, Judd and I tacitly labeled the drawers Malindi, Kelcy and Ryley, in that birth order.  They ended up being cubbies are where each child could stash things they didn’t want to carry up to their room or they wanted to save.  I would throw in any kid-specific-stuff I didn’t know where to “file:” a stray Pokemon card; a ribbon for participating in The China Fun Run; disembodied Lego characters, a program from Malindi’s Ice Show; the felt turtle wallet Becky made for Ryley; recruitment letters from various colleges for Kelcy; mail for a kid when they’re away at college; unwanted Halloween candy until it disintegrates. The drawers’ memorabilia stacked up sometimes until the drawer wouldn’t close and I would ask the child to purge or sort some things. 

This week all that changed. One of the drawers, the Malindi drawer, is stark naked empty—not slightly-empty-til-spring-break empty—I mean nothing-but-dust-and-a-paper-clip empty. I got to spend several quality days with Malindi before she left for Peace Corps this week and one of her missions was to clean out her stuff from the South China house. Her bedroom upstairs is vacant except for old furniture. Her favorite pictures and posters are off the wall. Her drawer is empty.  (There are some remnants in the cellar in carefully organized boxes.) But it’s a big transition time for the Thompsons.

I realize others have survived this before and it’s our turn.  First child has left home. Gone far away. We kissed Malindi good-bye at the airport security gate, with no forwarding address except a generic Peace Corps office suite in D.C. She has a phone and a laptop but we have no assurances when or if any of them will work in Albania. If I think about it too long, it’s scary.  Then I get over it.

The little Malindi-drawer in my heart is still full of Malindi treasures (happy smile, easy laugh, forgiveness, creativity, pretty things…) even though her cubbie is empty. And heck, over the next 2 years I might find some stray mail or unmatched sock and I’ll start filling that drawer back up.