Guess what's under MY couch.

Interesting house call yesterday. It was the first place where I was scared to sit on the couch offered to me but much scared-er to put my bag of equipment on the floor. I know not everyone can get help with house cleaning, especially older, shut-in patients. Wearing my long white coat with my name-comma-MD embroidered on it made me think my butt was impervious to any body fluid on the couch, so I sat down anyway. The guy was a real jokester/talker so the appointment took about double the allotted 45 minutes.  First he asked if I was really a doctor. Yes. So I must know what it's called when they cut out your appendix. I said appendectomy.  He asked what it's called when they cut out your tonsils.  I said a tonsilectomy.  He asked what it's called when they cut something off your head. I said, "a head-ectomy?--okay I give up. " He said, "a haircut." He didn't wait for my laugh. He cracked himself up.

Half way through my extensive questionnaire he told me I would never guess what  3 little pets were hiding under the couch. I reminded him I was bit by a dog last week. He said they were hiding and I would never see them. I surmised it was a tougher answer than a cat or dog so I said ferret or snake. He laughed at me. He said skunks. He said he'd rescued three tiny babies when their mother got hit by a car.  He took the little ones to the vet who de-scented them.  (Is that really a thing?) He said one is albino, one is all black and one is black and white. And he said they follow him around like kittens.  I was starting to worry that rather than concern that I was sitting on body fluids on the couch, I was probably catching skunk fleas or aerosolized rabies. (That's NOT a thing.)

The last story he wanted to relate was about a time the game warden visited. (I didn't ask why a game warden was visiting but wondered if it was because neighbors reported skunks in his house.)  Anyway, while the warden was there, they heard a big plop and went out back and saw that a big bird had dropped a salmon on the doorstep.  The dude said he took it in, cleaned it and put in the fridge.  He asked the warden if he would get a ticket for fishing without a license.  He said the warden cleared him as it was the bird who was fishing, not the dude.  At this point, I don't know if the dude is pulling my leg or not.  I was so happy not to meet the skunks that I finished up the visit and let myself out the door.

What surprises will today hold?

On the Road Again.......

I didn't blog last April's travels (2016) because I was too busy eating ceviche every day at a different beach cantina on Holbox, Mexico after hiking through the jungles of Yucatan to Chichen Itza. I saved a paper folder of pics and stories to tell later.

This year (2017) our travels encompassed visiting Home Depot on February break and painting our house up a storm despite the flu and sleeping every other hour.  For April break, I was working in Oxford County so Judd came for a hotel vacation and we "hit the Oxford Casino."  i.e. we put in one dollar for each kid on the nickel machine and when Ryley's dollar made $5, we immediately "reinvested" and lost it. Then we each each played a hand of Spanish 21 - like Black Jack but with the 10s taken out of the deck (for $10 each hand) and immediately lost $20.  We deemed it "not that fun" and tried to walk out of the place with our Oxford Casino engraved wine glasses.  The nice bouncer at the door said, 'you can't leave with those....'

The work that brings me to western Maine is working as an independent contractor for a company that sells my time to various insurance companies to do Annual Wellness Visits in people's homes. That's a Medicare screening/health care advice template with a mini-exam thrown in.
https://www.cms.gov/Outreach-and-Education/Medicare-Learning-Network-MLN/MLNProducts/downloads/AWV_chart_ICN905706.pdf

The company rented me a car and a swanky Hampton Inn as home base so I can do visits every day for a week without making the 75min drive home. This has inherent pros and cons.  Sure my floors are immaculate and I get control of the TV clicker, but there's no Judd, no garden, no sunsets on the lake. 

And then there's the work.  It's not physically taxing-- I can get in and out of the car 10 times and drive criss crossed-ly across roads I don't know, although it will be less charming for the next  3 days when it rains non-stop. The hard part is not knowing, hour to hour, what will be behind the next door. The first day I got bit by a dog. A nice old man put his three ankle biters, as he called them, behind a door and they yapped loudly through the whole exam. Between the din and the hard of hearing, I had to yell the screening questions.  Then as we were finishing up and I was packing my bag, the man said, "Oh, I'll let them out to say hello since you're leaving now," and the little devil dogs ran right at me barking and yipping. The ring leader bit me on the foot:  two puncture wounds with a big bruise in between. I sterilized  my wounds with Purrell (THAT stings) and found two bandaids in my purse to get me through the next two visits. Despite soaking it, icing it, elevating it and ibuprofening it, I was still mightily ticked off the next morning AND now skittish of clients with dogs, no matter how "good" their owner claims them to be. When I called my company to report the incident, the ditz on the phone didn't seem to know why I'd report it.  I said, "You know, in case I get rabies or my foot gets gangrene and falls off in the next week." She said, "OH!"

Sunday, last day in Scotland

    We were up and out early, needing to stop at a petrol station to fill up the car rental. The round about back to the airport was not nearly as treacherous as the one a week ago from the airport. We arrived promptly at 6:30am just as the Eurocrat guy was rolling in. All he said was, "Got keys?" and "Have nice day." and we were off. No asking about incidents , no "spraining" to do about extra wear and tear on tires secondary to bad curbs.

   Past security at the airport, we went to file our VAT paperwork. Several clerks had tried to help us understand Value-Added Tax, a kind of excise tax that non-Europeans can get back by jumping through a few hoops. We had some clerks give us the proper stamp and form and envelope. Most everyone else blew us off, although, since we kept all the receipts that said VAT £1.33 or £2.67 etc. I submitted all our receipts.  Getting anything back, after dropping them in an unsealed envelope into a post box, will be a pleasant surprise.

  We almost shopped at the duty free store but we spooked ourselves out that we were already over some limit (just as we had freaked ourselves out about the weight of our stuffed suitcases.) (Neither was over 50lb.)

   We got our last Scottish breakfast in the airport and the flight home was uneventful. Traveling by day and just expecting not to sleep in uncomfortable chairs made it more tolerable. The Park and Fly dudes in Portland had detailed our car so we drove home in style. Cleverly, I had taken Monday off of work so we had an extra day to recover from jet lag, unpacking and the reality that vacation was over.  How nice to still enjoy playing together and getting through the challenges of travel.

   P.S.  All the whisky made it home intact.

  

Clyde, unwinding at home with some of our booty

Pickle and Custard to the Rescue

yes, that's a new woolen fishing hat

   We departed Stirling after the museums and decided to by pass Falkirk Wheel and go right to our lodging for the night: Burns' House. Our GPS got us back to Edinburgh and we had opted not to stay near down town so we'd be on the closer to the airport side for early morning. Unfortunately, when you miss the left the GPS directs you to and you end up on a bunch of one way streets, it's difficult to get yourself back in the right direction. And then, when you do and there is zero parking on a very crowded, tight busy street, you opt to park in the nearest parking structure.  However, once we came up into the sunlight like moles and were out walking on the street, we no longer had a GPS or even compass to orient us.  We wandered a couple blocks and found a restaurant called the Pickle and Custard. A nice barmaid tried to give us directions. We had a wee dram and a glass of wine so we could use their free wifi and use our phones to get us maps and directions. We ended up walking to Burns' House to ask where to move the car. Unfortunately, no one was there. We stood around and rang the bell for a bit when a woman drove up on the sidewalk.  It turned out she was the inn keeper AND that was the parking. We registered (the only guests for the night) and then only had to be able to find our car, parked back in some parking structure near some conference center. 
  But we did it! and got ourselves to Burns' House.  We settled in and began to pack and re-pack our treasures, now worried that the amount of whisky we bought would be over the limit or would break in transit. Good thing we bought all those scarves for padding.

View from Burns' House room--is that a tiny pool or a big toilet in the yard?

walking from new to Old Edinburgh, came across a Hogwarts school

last stroll in old Edinburgh; Castle in backdrop on hill

   We did last minute shopping while walking Princess Street and Rose Street. Hawkers out on the street were trying to get passers-by to come into their restaurant. We usually ditch the most aggressive of these but had our last supper at A Taste of Turkey at Zara's, an excellent Turkish restaurant where they packed us in like sardines to tables about 3 inches from your neighbors' table. Anna explained our menu because it was not self-evident. We tried all kinds of stuff: cold meze: artichoke; hot meze: mantra dolma (oven baked mushrooms filled with spicy sausage, spinach, cheese and salad and peppers.)  Levrek Izgara: lightly chargrilled seabass on mixed veggies and red pepper sauce.  Izmir Takuk: chicken fille with creamed spinach.  Just before deciding on this restaurant, Judd was about to chose Dirty Dick for dinner. If he had, I was going to say I'd eaten at the Snoogly Peg.

   After dinner it was dark and we could have hiked back to Burns' House, but we saw a taxi who touted: "Get whisked, don't get frisked."  It was a short (safe)  minute ride.

Balmaha to Bannockburn

We were up early in Balmaha in time for a quiet walk on Loch Lomond when we found ourselves amongst the Highland Fling:  a 53 mile trail race which takes place along the lower section of the West Highland Way footpath. It starts in Milngavie, on the outskirts of Glasgow, then heads out into the countryside. We wove back and forth on the path just at the same time there were legions of runners going by. Again, as in Edinburgh the previous weekend, we could not cross the usual thoroughfares. But it was colorful and we could dodge the packs of runners in order to get down to the bonnie banks of Lochlomond beaches. 

  The Tom Weir statue went up December 2014, 100 years after Tom's birth. Tom was a well known hiker and best known for his TV show Weir's Way. He was an activist for protection of Scottish environment and received the first John Muir Award for Lifetime Achievement.  The red wool hat was his trademark. He was either a very short man or some contents settled in transporting him to Loch Lomond.

Tom Weir (statue) and JT, the hikers

Loch Lomond from Balmaha

The Balmaha Kiltwalk Ale ; proceeds go to local charity

snapchat from Kelcy in Orono

Wallace Monument pic by singletrackworld.com

view of Stirling from Wallace Monument

On our way back to Edinburgh, we stopped again in Stirling as we had missed the Wallace Monument and the Bannockburn Visitor Center.  
William Wallace was the 13th century hero (Braveheart) who led the Scots in the First war of Scottish independence from England. His tower was surrounded by spring daffodils and lots of tour buses stopped to let kids out to hike up to the top. There's a "Keeper's Room" at the bottom of the tower for anyone not up for the 246 step climb and want to wait out their fellow travelers.  Judd and I made it to the top where the views were quite nice in all directions. As per usual, we had tea in their cafe and shopped in their gift store. We got cute thistle with birthstone earring for Malindi and me and dashing fake kilt beach towels for Kelcy and Ryley.

Just some of the 246 steps....narrower at the top

chilly at the top of Wallace Monument
http://www.nationalwallacemonument.com/william-wallace.html

"my phallic tower is higher than your phallic tower"

Robert the Bruce

Judd dons the full mail (30 lbs) and cuts finger off museum docent

 It was once again lovely weather to walk outside. We kidded with the ticket clerk that it never rains in Scotland. She laughed at us. We wandered the Bannockburn memorials and statue of Robert the Bruce while awaiting our time slot in the interactive war room.  Little boys were battling their dad's with their newly purchased swords and shields and reminded us of the days when Kelcy and Ryley did the same.

Medieval Kelcy & Ryley, only barefoot kids in San Diego in February 2002

interactive 3-D gaming area (pic from visitscotland.com)

The Battle of Bannockburn Visitor Center is pretty new and state of the art. There were 3-D movies, places where you could take on the characters from noble to foot soldier or maid for position on either side of the battle.  In the war room a facilitator assigns visitors to teams (RPG=role playing game) Scottish or British and allows teams, by group consensus or fiat,  to place armies in certain areas on the game board.You needed to learn whether the schiltron (1000-2000 foot soldiers with big heavy spears) were better against calvary, and who could defeat archers, etc. You had to put your King where he could be protected because losing your king was a game stopper. Electronically, with mood lighting and with sound, you watched the battle unfold. Judd's team (Brits ) changed history and won the game!

Judd back home, modeling Kelcy's beach towel kilt

Noteworthy

Port Ellen to Inverary to Balmaha

 We were worried about missing the morning ferry as we had confirmed tickets on the 6pm ferry but it would be another late 11pm check in time if we had to wait that long.  We got up early for full breakfast checked out so we could get to Port Ellen for the 9:45 ferry.  And there was room! We joined our British friends from yesterday and the Swiss couple from Skerrols. It was only a 2.5 hour ferry to Kennacraig. 

Judd, tanking up on electricity at revolt

Good bye to Islay a t Port Ellen

working waterfront

Good bye to Islay

LOTs of cars and truck on those ferries

 It was a sunny, scenic drive along Loch Fyne. We programmed the car's GPS but often it wouldn't register our "postal code" and our guidebook wouldn't register a proper street address. So I would type in "find a point of interest" such as the Inverary Jail or Inverary Post Office and the car would calculate a route. When the car said, "you have arrived" we would have to start looking for a road sign to our actually desired destination. Unfortunately, some of the time the sign is not visible until you're upon them and then there is no way to park or turn around. Happily for the Inverary Castle, the entrance was well marked. It started to come together why it was famous and familiar to us.  It is both where Downton Abbey was filmed (outside) and it is the actual home of the Campbell Clan and the 13th Duke of Argyll which we had seen on a TV documentary on Great Escapes. 

Inverary Castle

  The nice docent was just dying to answer questions for us. The only one we could come up with was, "why," since it said, "Current family photo's " on the piano  was there a photo of Audrey Hepburn?  Was she related?"  The answer:  no-- and she never even visited. The piano was used by Lerner and Lowe in the score for My Fair Lady. (The docent said Pygmalion but I knew she meant the musical version.) So rather than a photo of 2 guys on one would recognize, they put a photo of Audrey on the piano.
  We showed ourselves around and while shopping in the gift store, I recognized the Duke himself. He was unpacking his Chivas Regal whisky and signing tour books. He introduced himself and shook both our hands. When we went to buy his tour book, he recommended we get the one in English. I was a little star struck. Although the sales clerk asked if I wanted a photo, I couldn't bring myself to do it.  We had lunch in the nice tea room and walked the gardens. We went back to the gift shop to get Carol a wee castle for her mini-gardens.

real fires going in all the fireplaces

the old kitchen

  

We found our way pretty easily to The Oak Tree Inn in Balmaha right on Loch Lomond. Upon arrival was an email message from Mike Gee, welcoming us. We dined in the Inn's restaurant. Me: "what is the pear and stilton pate?" Her: "oh, it's a cheese that's soft and spreadable." Me: " I'll have the veggie burger."